My least favorite question

I've mentioned it before, but it bears repeating, my least favorite question isn't the infamous "Where
do you get your ideas?" I like that question, actually, and cannot understand how anyone could move through this world and not end the day with their pockets stuffed full of stories (whether they have the will or the wherewithal to write them down is another matter).

No, my least favorite question is "Which character is you?"

The thing I like about "Where do you get your ideas?" is that it has as its underlying theme a genuine understanding that this writing thing is something I could do if I could just understand how to get started.  The question of which character is me gets at a fundamental misunderstanding of what fiction is, much less how it is done.

I probably didn't help much by writing in character as Dr Deeds on Twitter. That isn't to say that Howard's mad science teacher doesn't have a lot of me in him, but no more or less than Howard, or Old Suit, or Erica for that matter. But none of them are Scott in disguise.

I can't think why I'd want to put on Groucho glasses and a wig and wander into my story. "Nothing to see here, author coming through, carry on, nothing to see..." what a distraction that would be.

Which isn't to say that authors never inject themselves into their stories. "Never" is a dangerous word and almost always the first word of a lie. Some writers do and I find it deeply annoying in much the same way that I've grown to hate the inevitable Stan Lee cameo in every Marvel movie. Let's step out of the story for a moment while we all acknowledge the creator of this fictional narrative we were enjoying before you interrupted it for an inside joke.

It can be done right, and carefully in the correct circumstances (Kilgore Trout springs to mind). But you don't serve your story or your reader by forcing your story to form around an ego trip.

That's the fundamental conceit of fiction that this questioner doesn't understand and a bridge that far too many have trouble crossing. The purpose of storytelling is to let both the reader and the storyteller live lives we'd never be able to live, to experience things we might never encounter, to feel empathy for people we've never met or never could.

All of these kids and mad scientists and government agents and robots and alien creatures are part of me, but none of them are me. We use stories to inject ourselves into other lives, other times, and other situations. To breathe humanity into dry history and to postulate very ordinary human reactions into extraordinary situations. None of it requires me to inject myself into the story as a thinly-veiled character and nothing would be served except my own ego by doing so.

Which character is me? All of them. And none of them.

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GETTING BACK IN THE TIME MACHINE:

Next weekend, I will be in Port Townsend, Washington for The Brass Screw Confederacy May 29-31st.  There will be writers panels, radio shows, and other shenanigans.

I hope to see some of my Seattle-area folks there!

SAT time!

Speaking of Twitter... Last weekend I asked my Twitter followers and Facebook friends to complete my version of the iconic SAT question:

Finish the SAT question: Twitter is to writing as:________ is to _______?

The responses ran the gamut, ranging from the serious assessment of the Tweet as an art form to the downright hilarious and/or the scathing.

These are some of my favorites...

Twitter is to writing as...

• ...as Instant is to Coffee.  (Denny Hitzman)
• ...as chaff is to wheat. (Dale Estey)
• ...as "cultural" is to "phenomenon" (Ron Curren)
• ...as the SAT is to testing. (Elspeth)
• ...as American Idol is to singing. (Scott Perkins... one of the other ones)
• ...as 100 calorie pack twinkies are to normal sized twinkies.(JoNell Franz)
• ...as anonymous quickie with a hooker is to sex. (Dre Sargent)
• ...as babbles are to press conferences. (Heather Glass)
• ...as feces is to food. (Rydell)
• ...as top ramen is to cooking. (Gwen A.)
• ...as taking drugs is to your brain.  (Sheila Murphy-Nelson)
• ...as a pygmy donkey is to a unicorn. (Rachael Heiner)
• ...as a penny dreadful is to William Shakespeare. (Rex King... yes that's his real name, trust me.)
• ...as Uwe Boll is to moviemaking. (Ray Axmann)

My favorite though, goes to Todd X of the blog Iced Tea & Sarcasm, who appreciates the nuance and brevity of writing within the 140 character limitations...

• ...as "the net" is to "tennis." It's just another form and the parameters help dictate the form.

All in all, I think I agree with Todd.  There's a challenge to writing within guidelines, especially limitations of length.

Why Don't I Self-Publish? (revisited)

I get this question a lot.  I'm betting just about every person cranking out stories is asked at some time or another why they don't "cut out the middle man" (actually, most of the editors I've met are women) and go it alone?  In fact, it was the first question I answered on this blog, a year ago next week.  Re-reading that, I find that even though the technology and the market have evolved, my position hasn't changed much.

In answer to a similar question, the always-brilliant John Scalzi wrote a short (and incredibly violent) play for three actors on why a writer would be insane to want a world where publishers were thrown aside in preference of a "Do it yourself" world.  Check it out at his blog "Whatever".

His wife reminds me of a certain engineer I know.

Writing Tips from Published Authors...

Q: Where do you turn for writing advice?
A: I tend to tell people asking me these questions to buy Bird by Bird or Telling Lies for Fun & Profit, and then pass on the advice I've summed-up from a hundred such conversations I've had with people you've actually heard of: "At some point you just have to put the books down and write something". If you want more nitty-gritty, detail stuff, that's why many writers keep blogs and I encourage you to check in on them from time to time and perhaps "follow" some of your favorites on Twitter. (And if that doesn't disabuse you of the notion that becoming a writer is lavish parties and fancy cars, nothing will. It's hard work and it's a business.)

Here are a few of my favorite online sources of information or musings that I found valuable...

• Veteran suspense author and journalist David Hewson keeps a regular blog about writing and travel. Recently, he posted a great article about methods for the pesky task of keeping track of multiple characters amid multiple storylines, that gave me that "Yeah, me too" moment that makes me read other writers' blogs.
• I really had to search for this one... Back in August of 2006, The Atlantic aggregated some of the Great Writing Advice that has been offered in the pages of their magazine and posted it here. Which goes to show that when you do find advice you value, don't lose track of where you put it. (In my case, I had it printed out and had to go back and find where it might yet reside online.)
• I was there for this one... At the PNWA conference, James Rollins handed out some sage advice that one of my fellow attendees blogged. Rather than reinvent the wheel (or re-blog the conference) I'll give you a link to his summary of James Rollin's excellent advice. Advice we all should heed more often than we do.
• And of course, there's always the genius of Neil Gaiman. The man's chockful of advice. Some of it's even about writing.

Notice that with the exception of Mr Hewson's musings on keeping characters straight in a convoluted story, most of it can be summarized with the words: "Writers write, if you're not writing, you're not a writer"? There's a reason for that, and a reason that this blog is titled "Pages to type before I sleep". Which reminds me. I have writing to do before I can get some shuteye.

10 Rules Redux

Last week we talked about the Ten Rules Elmore Leonard proposed for great fiction writing. Whether you're a reader or a writer, surely you too have some rules of thumb. Some measure of what makes writing good or even great... So what are your ten rules? Answer in comments.

Dialogue

Since I find myself gifted by the company of the erudite band of people in my general digital vicinity, I was hoping you could help me with a hole I've found in my memory regarding a theater company and a play they performed. The trouble is, it's a really short play. I saw it some time ago, probably nine or ten years ago in either Chicago or Milwaukee. It's a short one-act play and was part of a night where many of them were performed in succession. I'm trying to track it down. Trouble is, I can't think of the name of it. It was was performed by a man and a woman interacting in the following manner...

M: "Tenuous overture" F: "Noncommital Reply" M: "Hopeful Comment" F: "Encouraging response" M: "Suggestive comment" F: "Affronted objection!" M: "Furious Backpedaling" F: "Stony silence!" M: "Nervous Laughter."

And so forth. The entire play was quite short but it was entirely about the tone of voice and delivery since there was no real dialogue, just leading two-word "writerly" descriptions of what was being suggested and acted out by the players. It was a great little play, and I do mean a little play. I remember snippets and bits but can't find the play, the playwright or the theater company that performed it. Google's no help at all. Anyone out there heard of this? Did I imagine it?

Questions to answer before I write... Part I

Thank you for your participation in my experiment. There were a lot of questions and I was in danger of making the vid too long, so there will have to be more than one. Keep sending in questions and I'll take the best of the lot for the next Vlog entry. I must say that I was astounded by the breadth of topics I have been asked to cover. It was a really strange experience sitting in a room talking to a camera with no one around. Which was kind of the point. I wasn't sure that this kind of blogging (or vlogging, I suppose) would be a comfortable environment for me. It was a lot of fun, but I was a little nervous and I think it shows. I've also never edited video before, so there was a heightened sense of the high wire. Leave your comments and questions in the newly-repaired comments section! And remember: If you can't be right, be funny!